DON’T FORGET TO WASH AWAY ALL OF YOUR IMPURITIES…
PURIFICATION
Right before sunset, long walks along the shore became Adam’s favorite pastime.
It didn’t matter if the temperature was a cool, perfect seventy-five or below freezing.
Calming his racing mind was the only thing that mattered, especially on days like last Thanksgiving.
He hadn’t seen his mom in over four years, and rightfully so.
His therapist said to cut her out of his life, but he could never do it.
The marks along his arms, back, and thighs held his adolescent scars.
Resorting back to that twelve-year-old boy, Adam slashed his arms whenever he smelled her coming.
The sour smell of beer seeping through her pores announced her presence a mile away.
She used to be so beautiful.
Dimensions that would rival any ancient goddess became a thing of her past.
That didn’t stop her drunken tales.
“I used to look just like your sisters,” the can of beer sloshing in her hands as she used the wall to keep balance. “You couldn’t tell me anything back then, and I got any man I wanted.”
I wished I had reacted sooner when Adam stood up to leave the dining room table.
The turkey we deep-fried together grew cold on his plate before I realized anything was wrong.
Droplets of blood followed his size ten shoes right out of the back door.
Our land rover was gone, and I knew exactly where he went.
Using his blood n the windshield of our minivan, he wrote I AM SORRY.
The shore along the lake felt different that night.
As the waves crashed, I wasn’t ready to find the love of my life that way.
He talked about being free often.
“What do you want to be free from, Adam?” I grew more annoyed each time he would stare off into space, muttering to himself, and I hated it.
I hated feeling helpless, and he knew that.
That’s why I’ll never get the look of satisfaction across his face as we locked eyes that night on the beach.
Slashing his throat from ear to ear as my screams penetrated the night.
The body I loved holding so close made a hard thud as it hit the sand.
NM
The Emancipation of Adam
Night Goddess
She promised that every night would be her last stepping out on that stage.
I knew she was lying the moment the words left her pretty lips.
Getting me to believe anything was one of her unique talents since childhood.
My mama always told me to watch out for her—that she would be the end of me.
Not even mama’s cautionary tales of girls like her mattered when she rode me through the night.
Losing this goddess wasn’t an option.
There was too much competition, and a regular guy like me had to do whatever to stay in the game.
News stories flashing across social media wouldn’t stand in our way.
Those guys failed at keeping her happy and had to pay the price.
“Do you love me?” she knew just when to ask.
Every time I come in between her sweet thighs, illusions of what could be cloud my vision.
Of course, I loved her with every fiber of my being, but I couldn’t keep on this way.
“How many more bodies before we can live normal lives again?” I was over it, but I would never tell her that.
“I promise that this will be the last.”
Her hands moved with such precision as she cut through their flesh.
“NYX says we will be free soon.”
The Night Goddess had a hold on her, and she had one on me.
NM
Take Me To Church (A True Story—Sort of)
That midday was daunting.
It’s been a while since I stepped foot inside of Greatest Faith To Have Baptist Church.
Now I am remembering why I left in the first place.
It still smelled the same—like holier than thou Christians and judgment.
I didn’t want to go, but I knew that I would regret it for years to come if I didn’t show.
She was a special lady who always believed in me when everyone else predicted the worse for me.
And so, with wanting to be anywhere else but there, I sat up front next to the pulpit.
That was the worst decision I made that day, but something told me to sit close.
An exit stood less than five hundred feet from me, and I prayed that the doors weren’t locked from the inside—if need be.
Sister Cathy had been a mean ole bat, but we loved her nonetheless.
Rumors swirled through the pews that I left the church to walk the streets with Satan.
Living in the minds of others rent-free became my specialty, and I loved it.
My all-black skater dress and vans didn’t help either.
The whispers as I walked to my seat were endless.
“Look at the way she dresses now.”
“She looks like one of those goth, punk girls. You know the ones who love pentagrams and whatnot.”
“I don’t know why she came back after selling her soul.”
“Yeah, I hear she’s into dark magic now.”
“Oh, she just waits until Pastor Dennis gets ahold of her.”
Hearing his name sent a chill through my spine.
Last I heard, Pastor Dennis died in a plane crash on his way to a prayer convention in Las Vegas.
The impending storm was not supposed to begin until later that day, but the clouds formed as soon as his private plane took off.
The day it happened was when I began to plan my exit from the church.
His death broke into a million pieces.
He was the only father figure I had ever known.
“Pastor Dennis is alive?” The curiosity in my voice ceased the old ladies’ chatter.
“Hmph, why do you care?”
Old lady Brianne was a mother of Greatest Faith and one of the most annoying.
“Because I thought he died five years ago.”
“He did!”
“But that doesn’t make any sense; if he’s going to get ahold of me as you said, how can he be dead?”
The life left old lady Brianne at the mention of me hearing the banter making me laugh aloud.
“Well, honey, we are all dead here.”
I felt a warm hand touch my left shoulder.
It was my great-grandmother.
We laid her to rest over seven years ago, and one thing we all knew—she never missed a Sunday service.
Her smile and little voice always felt so welcoming.
“I am always happy to see you but didn’t know it would be so soon.”
“What are you talking about, mawmaw?”
Everyone was acting so weird, and now I saw visions of my dead relative.
I knew I shouldn’t have taken so many edibles before coming here.
“Don’t you remember?” Mawmaw’s grip tightened around my shoulder. “You died last night?”
“Yeah, you got so high and drunk that you crashed into several cars on the freeway.”
“Isn’t it funny that you would end up here—back at church with all of us out of all places?”
“You’re here to cleanse your dirty soul, young girl, for tonight is Baptism.”
“Oh, this must be hell for a rebel like you.”
All of the old ladies laughed.
NM