Too Sexy to Be a Wife? Divine Feminine Healing

Photo by Siednji Leon on Unsplash

Where were the parents?

That’s the part no one wants to discuss.

We often hear older generations critique young women—what they wear, how they speak, and how they carry themselves. But we rarely ask: Who taught them differently? More often than not, the people who should have guided us stayed silent, disappeared, or competed with us.

I’ve seen this firsthand in my journey—from my days as a glamour model to becoming a mother and a mental health advocate. I’ve been called “too sexy to be a wife." I have been judged by strangers and objectified by men. And yes, shamed by women who never knew my story.

Recently, on my Instagram, I shared a reel titled “Too Sexy to Be a Wife?” It resonates with women who face judgment for showing up fully, experience misunderstanding for expressing themselves, and long to be loved as they are.

This blog speaks to women who’ve been told they are too much.

Too bold. Too full. Too outspoken. Too seen.

Too sexy to be spiritual. Too confident to be taken seriously.

Too desirable to be chosen for anything other than a temporary thrill.

My message is for those on the path of divine feminine healing—not just through softness and surrender, but by reclaiming their right to be seen without shame.

Because healing the divine feminine isn’t about becoming smaller, it’s about becoming whole.

The Roots of Divine Feminine Suppression

We’ve been taught to downplay our feminine qualities—intuition, emotion, sensuality—as if they’re weaknesses, when in truth, they are sacred strengths.

But for many of us, divine feminine suppression didn’t start in society—it started at home. It began with fathers who never said we were beautiful, and mothers who saw us as competition instead of legacy. No one gave us a real foundation for confidence, modesty, or trust in ourselves—we had to figure it out through mistakes and emotional pain.

When the feminine isn’t nurtured, it becomes wounded.

When the masculine is absent or unsafe, it becomes feared.

So, many women begin the journey of healing the divine feminine while still fighting to believe they’re worthy of love, not for how little they show but for how deeply they feel.

Instead of being taught self-worth, many were told to cover up, sit down, and "not act fast." But shame is not the same as guidance.

What’s missing in these conversations is nuance. As mentioned in my reel, I agree with Ms. Phylicia Rashad that modesty matters. But modesty must be modeled, not demanded. It must come from self-respect, not collective shame.

Divine Feminine Healing Through Sensuality

I used to tone myself down to avoid judgment—dressing modestly, playing small, trying to please everyone.

But it didn’t matter. The judgment still came. Other women still competed. And men still crossed boundaries.

Visible. Vulnerable. Exposed. Misunderstood.

But as I grew into womanhood, I realized: my sensuality was never the problem. The problem was the people who couldn’t honor it.

Divine feminine energy healing means calling your softness back without shame. It’s the practice of coming home to your intuition, voice, and body without asking for permission. It’s the grace that flows when you stop apologizing for being seen.

In the past, I’ve worn more revealing outfits. I’ve toned things down as a mother. But I’ve learned this: it’s not about the clothes—it’s about the man. Or more accurately, the energy of the people around you.

I’ve seen fully covered women judged, shamed, cheated on, and overlooked.

I’ve seen confident, expressive women honored, loved, and chosen because the men around them were mature enough to see them as whole.

Healing divine feminine energy means we stop adjusting ourselves to be palatable to people who lack emotional integrity. We stop dressing to please the loudest critics—and start honoring what makes us feel most aligned, embodied, and radiant.

You can shine your light without dimming it to earn respect.

You don’t need to hide your curves to be called “wife material.”

You need space to be your whole self, without condition, shame, or fear.

Too Sexy to Be a Wife?

I’ve heard it all.

“Too sexy to be taken seriously.”

“Too much for a good man.”

“Too confident to ever be submissive.”

And of course, the classic: “Too sexy to be a wife.”

In my former life as a glamour model, I embraced my beauty and leaned into it—and with that came attention. But it also came with judgment, mostly from other women. Women conditioned themselves to believe that being visible meant facing disrespect. Women learned that sensuality and self-worth could never coexist.

But here’s what I’ve learned through healing and growth:

Over time, I shifted. I no longer needed to lead with my image—I didn’t need to. The more I healed, the more I realized my power wasn’t in how much I showed, but in how deeply I knew myself.

What used to feel like a performance has become a mask. Now, I dress for myself—not to hide or be chosen but to reflect who I have become. I remember dating younger men who labeled me without knowing me.

Older men who wanted a trophy, not a partner.

And women who whispered behind my back but never spoke to my heart.

But the truth is, I was never too sexy to be a wife.

I was just too visible for people who equated sexiness with sin.

When I became a mother, I changed. I did not shrink; instead, I started to redefine what sensuality meant to me. I embraced a different kind of sexy rooted in confidence, softness, and soul.

And you know what I realized?

It was never about the dress.

It was never about the cleavage.

It was always about the character of the people watching.

Wearing a turtleneck can still lead to disrespect.

You can walk in modesty and still be unloved.

Your clothes do not determine your worth. It comes from your energy, boundaries, and ability to choose people. Choose those who see your true self without fear.

When I dated mature men, I always felt seen, loved, and proposed to.

Women who didn’t get chosen often acted as critics and focused on projecting instead of healing.

So before someone says you’re too sexy to be a wife,

Ask yourself: Does he even marry anyone at all?

And if not, why would you shrink for someone who doesn’t even know how to choose?

Balancing the Divine Feminine and Masculine Within

When you heal your inner masculine, you strengthen the part of you that protects your energy. This allows your feminine side to express, feel, and create entirely.

One of the biggest lies we’ve been told is that we have to choose:

• Be soft, or be strong.

• Be sensual, or be spiritual.

• Embrace femininity to earn respect.

Divine feminine healing is not about picking one part of yourself over another. It is about bringing both parts together.

The feminine within us is intuitive, emotional, magnetic, and expressive.

The masculine is focused, protective, steady, and grounded.

When we grow up in survival mode, many of us focus too much on our masculine side. This happens because staying in control feels safer than trusting others and accepting help.

But healing the divine feminine means calling your softness back without shame.

It means learning how to receive without guilt.

It also means learning to discern—because the feminine can suffer deeply from the masculine without discernment.

That’s why healing both the masculine and feminine energies within us is so important. We can only feel safe and whole on the outside when we’re balanced on the inside.

So that we can:

• Trust our yes and honor our no

• Attract partnerships that feel safe, not just exciting

• Lead with both heart and clarity

Sacred union isn’t just something we seek in romantic partners—it’s something we cultivate inside.

You can be both sensual and wise.

Both visible and private.

Both radiant and grounded.

And when those two energies live in harmony inside of you?

That’s when you stop accepting crumbs from anyone who can’t meet you fully. 

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Too Much—You Are Healing

If no one told you this before:

You are not too much.

You are not too loud, too curvy, too confident, or too seen.

You are not too emotional, too deep, or too ambitious.

You are not too sexy to be loved. You are not too spiritual to be desired.

You are not too anything for the man who is meant for you, and the world that needs your medicine.

What you are… is healing.

You’re healing your divine feminine energy.

You’re healing the girl inside who was told she had to shrink.

You’re healing the woman who thought she had to choose between being wanted and worthy.

You're healing the parts of you that were raised in silence.

You're speaking for the version of you who didn’t know she had a voice.

And through that healing, you're permitting other women to do the same.

If this resonated, I invite you to follow my journey on Instagram, where I’ve begun sharing content around healing the wounded feminine through storytelling, truth, and soul-led marketing.

You can also watch the reel that inspired this post: Too Sexy To Be a Wife? 💫

And if you know someone else who’s been told they’re “too much,”

Please send this to her.

She deserves to hear that she’s just… more than enough.